God is amazing. I have to start by saying that before I get to the story I want to tell you. Our God is absolutely amazing and no matter how much I get to know Him, I will always be amazed by the works that He does.
These past couple weeks have been really hard for me. School is getting really crazy, along with Legends, and I’m trying to throw in a bit of social life, but I feel like I’m failing at the whole social thing. And it’s really actually getting to me. And the past couple nights, I’ve almost been having mental breakdowns about the whole social aspect of my life. And more of pity parties.
On Saturday, I spent almost all day doing homework. I had a three hour break with my Legends friends, but other than that, from 10 AM to 11 PM, I was doing homework. And after a while, I just got really upset that none of my friends had texted me. That no one wanted to hang out or cared that they hadn’t seen me in a couple of weeks. Or that no one came over to see me when they knew that I was home. And that they just expected me to go over. And I was on the verge of tears, just getting so frustrated that I felt like I was the only friend in most of my friendships making the effort. And I didn’t even pray about it, it was just a pity party that I was having for myself… But then all of a sudden, Stacey came over. And we just layed on my bed and talked for a good hour. And after she left I was just amazed that God heard my thoughts. He knew what I needed to feel and know that I was loved and He used Stacey to come and help me.
Almost the same thing happened last night. But last night was a more dramatic event. I was crying and I talked on the phone with both my mom and my sister. And I didn’t know what I wanted them to say, but I just needed to feel loved and appreciated. And I talked and cried for about an hour and then decided that I needed to get back to homework. As soon as I hung up the phone, I noticed that I had a text waiting to be read. It was my friend Maria in my FHE family that had texted me. And she just told me that I’m an example to her and a lot of people and that she loves me. And I started crying even more.
Even in my most pitiful moments, when I’m acting just straight pathetic, God has been there for me and answering my prayers. He has been there so much for me. I have said a lot of prayers in my life, but honestly, none has been so directly addressed as these past two (not even prayers), but pleas. God is amazing. I have learned so much about Him these past couple months, but have also felt like I know nothing. God will never be fully understood by me, but that is something else that amazes me. He is so much more than words could ever say.