So, this week is the start of finals. I’m officially done with classes until September and all I have left is my finals. While that is such a happy fact, it’s also really upsetting.
I haven’t cried as much as I have in the past few days in a long time. A lot of emotions are filling my days. Joy for not having to do homework for another 4.5 months, sorrow that I’m leaving all my best friends, those bitter sweet goodbyes that I want to avoid with all my heart as my friends depart on their missions, and stress. Loads of stress.
Today has been a stressful day. And it has left me physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. And tonight, I just felt on the verge of tears all night. This week and all that I have to do is just looming over my head like a black heavy cloud.
Tonight as I was doing my bed time ritual, I was having a hard time feeling the spirit as I read over General Conference and attempted to read my scriptures. And as it came time to write in my journal, I found myself racking my brain for things to be thankful for today.And I was seriously upset with myself that I couldn’t think of anything that I could write. I know that I am so blessed in so many ways. And I didn’t even feel like writing that I was thankful that school is over…. That’s how I know I was having a rough day.
As I thought about just one thing that I could write in my journal I thought about Christ and his infinite atonement. I thought about how much he loves me and how he truly understands what I’m going through. And even though I feel so stressed and alone, he loves me and is still blessing me and providing tender mercies for me everyday. As I wrapped up my nightly gratitude, I was reminded of a song that we sing in our firesides for Living Legends. The lyrics go like this:
Lord, please hear my humble prayer
Let me know that thou art near
Hold my hand in the darkness
Let thy Holy Spirit Glare.
Help me see thy bounteous blessings
In my trials, Oh Lord, I pray
Give me strength to walk along
The stony path of life’s sad song
Let me feel thy arms around me
Let me feel thy lasting peace
Let this tribulation teach me
That thy love will never cease.
Bless me Lord in my afflictions
Give me light that I may see
Bless me Lord with sweet intentions
Help me love my enemies.
Lord please hear my humble prayer
Let me know that Thou art near
Let me feel Thy arms around me
Let me feel Thy lasting pace.
Even in my darkest, most stressful hours, I know that God knows my heart and blesses me and comforts me. I am constantly amazed that He knows exactly what I need and sends angels to my side. I cannot explain how much I have felt God’s loving arms around me. Even when everything seems impossible and too much to handle, He somehow makes everything work out.
For those of you who are reading this, don’t forget that God loves you and truly cares. He will listen, no matter how pity the problem may seem, and He will provide safety and comfort. God’s love is so boundless. He truly loves us each, individually, and cares for us. He hears all of our personal Humble Prayers and answers them. I testify of that.