Shoot… What a day yesterday was. I have not cried that much in such a very long time. But those tears that I cried yesterday were mostly because I could feel just how incredibly blessed I am to be here at BYU surrounded by these amazing people.
Yesterday, church was four hours and forty minutes. You read that right. Four. Hours. And. Forty. Minutes. I almost died. But at the same time, I didn’t really mind. Two and a half of those hours were spent listening to everyone’s testimonies. I am more amazed every month at the strength of the testimonies that people so young have. At the closing of our testimony meeting, most of all the missionaries got up to sing the EFY Medley. That song has always made me a hot mess, but I was moreso yesterday. Because all of those people that were singing are going to be entering the MTC in a couple weeks to a couple of months. I could not have been more proud to see my best friends up there singing. I am so incredibly blessed (I’m probably going to be saying that a lot throughout this, but I just can’t even come up with more words to explain the feelings inside of me) to be a part of such a tremendous ward. This ward has changed my life. Because I knew them, I have been changed for good.
Now, I just want to take a minute and talk about the men in this next picture. These are my FHE brothers. These are six of the most incredible guys I have ever had the opportunity to meet. I had no idea coming into this that these guys would end up meaning so much to me. I am so, so incredibly proud of them and the decisions they’re making with their lives. Especially their decision to drop everything and go serve the Lord in various locations around the world to serve the Lord and bring His people home. Every time I think about saying my goodbye’s for two years to these guys, I end up crying because I have never met such incredible boys. The world needs to watch out for these boys. Because they have testimonies that are so strong, you can feel them. They are the funniest, nicest, and hottest (that one’s for Andy) guys I have ever met. I can’t wait to write them and watch them grow with God and help other’s get to know God.
Last night, Living Legends had our final fireside before we head out on tour (we leave in six days…. HOLY COWWWW). Most of it was information about the tour itself, but then Janielle handed us each our own letters. We opened it up and she read it out loud. It was a missionary call, for each of us, to serve those in the countries that we are visiting. I cried so hard when I read that.
With the change in the age that young men and young women can serve missions, 90% of my friends now are leaving to serve a mission, but I knew that I was not supposed to serve a mission. That God needed me elsewhere. My friends always told me to not feel guilty, especially since Living Legends is a mission itself. They were right.
I have the incredibly opportunity to serve the people of Guatemala, Nicaragua, and Honduras for three weeks. I will not be speaking their language, but instead, I will share the gospel through dance and song.
I have known for a long while that God gave me my ability to sing and dance not to get my own praise, but to use to praise Him instead. After I graduated high school and Christmas Joy was over, I didn’t know how I would be able to keep using those talents for His eternal praise. But then I joined Living Legends. And that’s exactly what I do.
I cannot express the feelings that I felt surge through my body as I read my mission call last night. The one that stood out the most was the gratitude that I have to be a part of Living Legends. God has blessed me so much by leading my path towards that group. Words cannot even come near the excitement I feel to being able to share the gospel of Christ with the people of Central America.
After the Living Legends fireside, I ran (literally) back to my ward’s finals Ward Prayer. When I got there I was full of so many emotions. Stress and anxiety about finals and packing up and moving out; sadness for the knowledge that I have but few days left with my best friends; and such extreme gratitude for all that I had been blessed with.
To say I was a hot mess doesn’t even cover what I was at that final ward prayer last night. I was just a mess. I was not hot at all… About halfway through the program, I knew that I needed to get up and bear my testimony through word and song to my ward. So I did. I was shaking and scared, but I knew that other’s would need to hear what I had been comforted with all week.
At the end of the fireside, we all got up and sung the EFY Medley together. I could hardly get a word out because I was crying so hard. I was filled with the overwhelming urge to grab my FHE family and never let go, just keep them with me forever. And I was also filled with the overwhelming spirit of God. Listening to my best friends bear their testimony and share their calling through song was just surreal. I cried for about a good thirty minutes.
I am so proud, so proud, of my FHE family. And so grateful. They truly do not know how much their example has helped me this past year. They didn’t even try to be a missionary to me, but they were. They changed my life. For good, and for better. And I cannot thank them enough for all that they have done for me. Without them, I would not be where I am today. I would not have a strong testimony. And I honestly would not be going back to BYU. They have gotten me through my darkest parts in my life and have stood by my side through my most triumphant. They were my support team through the good and the bad. There are not enough words in the dictionary to express my eternal gratitude towards them. I hope that they are reading this and know that they are something amazing.
I cannot express how much love and gratitude I have felt in the last twenty four hours. I am so sad that this year is closing and will probably be crying about it for weeks to come, but I am so happy that it has happened. And I will bask in these glory days for years to come.