This summer was a really tough summer for me. Especially at the very beginning. I came home and everything was so different. My best friends were still at BYU all hanging out and having a grand ol’ time while I sat at home, searching for a job, hanging out with no one. I spent my summer hanging out with mostly my family. And I’m not complaining about that, but the beginning was rough. Especially with Aubrey. We had the hardest time at first. I swear, all we did was fight and bicker for the first month. And my mom was sick of it, and we were sick of it, but we didn’t know what to do.
One night, after this especially heated fight, I had to get out of the house. It was probably 11:45 at night and I went on a walk. I was so mad. I had kept continuously praying to God that Aubrey and I would stop fighting. That we would be friends again. And that she would listen to me, because I’m older and wiser. Well let me tell you, God had a big “LOL at you, Shanoah” moment and humbled me real quick. I didn’t hear a still, small voice or anything, it just hit me that I needed to stop. I needed to stop trying to change Aubrey. I needed to stop getting frustrated with her. I needed to stop judging her and just love her. Whether I agreed with what she was doing or not, I just needed to love her. She didn’t need another person breathing down her neck telling her what to be/do and what not to. She needed me to be her sister and not her mom. Well, that was an incredibly humbling and eye opening moment.
In Luke 10:38-42, Martha also feels what I was feeling. As she was scurrying around, trying to serve everyone and do everything, she spoke to God and said, “Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid here therefore that she help me.” Well, I can only imagine that Jesus had a similar “LOL at you” moment with Martha. Martha is trying to make Mary like Martha. One thing my teacher said about this moment that Jesus and Martha had is that it’s only when we try to make each other like each other that God corrects us.
Mary was not bad. What she was doing was not bad. Martha was not bad. And what she was doing was not bad. They were just different. And Christ acknowledged that. He recognized that they were in different places. Doing different things. And that’s not bad.
I was and constantly am Martha in this story. Especially with my little sister. As a big sister, I have been through a lot of the same stuff as Aubrey is going through right now. And I cannot deny that I hold the “I’m always right” mentality. But I’m not always right. I make so many mistakes. And one of the biggest mistakes that I make is continually trying to make Aubrey like me. Aubrey does not need to be me. She does not need to like the same things I do, do the same things I do, or be me. She needs to be herself. And I need to love her. I need to help her become who she wants to be. I need to shape her into a better version of herself, but not into me. I still struggle with this. Daily. All the time. And I’m not sure it will ever become easier.
Constantly I have heard that the scriptures are our story. And I’ve written a couple on how they can be our story. But this story in Luke 10 is really my story. I encourage you all to find your story in the scripture. And use it lift you up and make yourself a better person.