http://vimeo.com/88620733 Have I ever mentioned how much I love Sunday’s? This year, they have become my favorite day of the year. One of my New Year’s Resolutions this year was to take Sunday as the day of the sabbath, as the day of rest, seriously….
It has been far too long since I have written on this blog. And I sincerely apologize about that. It has been the craziest couple weeks of life with tour, coming back and attempting to get on top of things, and trying to get into the regular swing of things again.
Tour though. Let’s talk about how amazing it was. I love tour. And I miss it so much. I really didn’t want to go on tour because I had had such an amazing tour to Central America and I didn’t think that anything could quite live up to that standard. And while I’m not sure this tour reached that level, it reached a different level on a different chart. It was an amazing tour. My favorite part of the whole thing was being behind the camera. I got to creep on people hard core and then put it into a video. I got to see everyone’s relationship with each other strengthen, I got to see everyone in their happiest moments, I got to witness the divinity of God’s children. I fell in love with this group of people all over again within those 10 days of tour. We laughed so hard we cried, we cried during our devotionals, we laughed at the falls and mishaps backstage, and we lifted each other up when it got really hard.
I am so beyond blessed to have this second family in my life. They are truly my brothers and sisters that I know I could turn to whenever I needed. They have strengthened my testimony so much by just being great people and setting that perfect example for me. It’s hard to tell all the stories that happened–all the funny and spiritual experiences that tour holds– but I just wanted to share some happy moments with this great group.
Do you ever have one of those nearly perfect weekends that days later, you’re still smiling? That’s how this weekend was. It was practically perfect in every way.
Living Legends had a show at the Scera Theater this weekend and it was great. On Friday we did a run through before the show, and I was feeling exhausted, and it showed. The run through was rough. Probably one of the worst runs we’ve had. But when it came time for the show, it felt like one of the best shows. Especially for only having like one actual rehearsal beforehand. It was great and I had fun. Friday after the show, we had to something. So, naturally, we played Black Ops: Zombies. Let me tell you: I am obsessed with that game. Truly obsessed. I love fighting off zombies, even though I’m actually the worst player out of all of us. But I get better everytime. It was actually so sick the set up we had though. We had two flat screens in one room, four players to a tv, with two different games going. We go hard. And by that, I mean I make ugly faces while killing zombies.
Saturday we had another show. It didn’t go quite as well as Friday night, but it was still pretty good. After the show, I went to hang out with my roommate and some friends from our ward. We all ended up going to Roll Up Cafe and indulging in some truly delicious crepes. We ended up staying there till 1 AM laughing so hard tears were shed, getting so loud we almost got kicked out, and having some of the best real talk I’ve had in months. It was one of those nights were I felt truly, incandescently happy. I went to sleep still laughing about some of the things that were said and with a huge fat ol’ smile on my face.
Sunday was little rough, but it ended up being a great night. Mitchell and Seth came over to watch Monster’s University, and it randomly turned into a dinner and Movie and Golden Globes night. It was totally random, but it definitely went down in my book as one of the best nights.
This weekend and these past couple of days has made me realize how blessed I am. With the opportunities I have, with the friends I’ve made, and with the knowledge of truth of this gospel. Even though these have been some of the hardest days, I can’t help but feel incandescently happy and overwhelmingly blessed.
I still cannot grasp the fact that it is already 2014. It’s completely mind boggling. As we all know, New Years comes with a lot of Resolutions. People make resolutions to get more fit, to save money, to eat better, to do all sorts of things. And New Years Resolutions are more popularly known for being dropped and forgotten by the time March rolls around. So they don’t always have the best impression.
I read this blog post once, many years ago, about someone’s opinions of New Years Resolutions. He thought they were annoying and didn’t see a point in them. One point that I did like that he made was that New Years should not be the only time that we can “Start new.” If you have something you want to change, change it. I loved that. But it didn’t make me never want to make a New Years Resolution again. Because I think that resolutions and goals are good. I love setting goals for myself. So I just wanted to share some of my goals for 2013.
I want to share these with you guys because I think it will keep me accountable. I also wanted to write down my goals for myself in 2014 to share them. I love hearing the goals people set for themselves. To see their aspirations. If you want to share yours, I’d love to hear them. 2013 was great, but 2014 has a high standard to meet!
Today is the last day of 2013 and tomorrow is 2014. I am mind blown right now. I cannot believe the rate that 2013 flew by. It feels like 2013 just started, but at the same time, it feels like it’s been such a long year. Crazy how that works…
This year was the best and the toughest year of my life. I cried like I never have, I laughed harder than I have ever, I grew closer to my family, I traveled the world, and I’m slowly figuring out the person I want to be and what I want to do in the future. I guess it’s all part of growing up. I just wanted to share some highlights from this past year.
Living Legends Central America
I got to go on tour to so many places with Living Legends and got to travel the world with my best friends. With Living Legends I got to go on tour to Idaho, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, and Arizona. It was such an amazing experiences for each one of these tours to be able to share the gospel and share my culture. And especially to experience other cultures. The times when we are on tour are some of the best times of my life, and surely times that I will not soon forget.
In 2013 I made the best friends a girl could have asked for me. They have been there for me from the moment we met. We’ve shared so many laughs, memories, some of the best freshman experiences, and they’ve always been there for me when I’m at my worst. 
I became an auntie again to the cutest little niece ever! I also go to spend a magnificent summer with my family.
I also got to participate in some pretty cool things with Living Legends. One of the coolest was Evidance. I got to participate in that along with the Contemporary Dance Team, the Ballroom company, the Folk Dance Team, and the Ballet company on campus. It was so delightful for me because it truly reminded me of why I started dancing so long ago. It did give me a serious case of Nostalgia, but more than anything, it made me feel so blessed that I got to be a ballerina for ten years and that I was still able to dance, but in a more intimate way.
And here’s to some of the crazy music videos that were made.
All in all, 2013 was a spectacular year. It was full of some of the hardest, most fulfilling moments. I made the best of friends. I laughed harder than I ever have. I learned new things. And I gained memories to last a lifetime. 2014, I am so looking forward to all the trials, smiles, and moment s in between. Let’s get to the new year!
Oh how I love the holiday season. Mostly because I love being home and that’s exactly where I was for this past week. Home with my family. I spent the most relaxing days in my PJ’s doing nothing. I’ve taken time to write my missionaries back. I’ve caught up on reading blogs. I’ve read a lot. I’ve seen a lot of old friends. It has been absolutely amazing this break. Definitely good for the soul.
This Christmas I didn’t get much under the tree, but that’s okay, because I did get an amazing camera. I’m in love with it. I hardly put it down after opening it up and charging it on Christmas morning. Luckily I have the most beautiful family that models for me by just being themselves. I got some pretty great candid’s that day. I’m no photographer, in any way, and I know how to use a grand total of 2 of the many functions on my camera; but I just wanted to share my cute family with you guys. Most of the pictures are of my niece, Juliana. But you can’t disagree when I say she’s the cutest baby, possibly ever.
I know that everyone’s probably so sick of hearing about Christmas Joy by this point, but I do not care. It is one of the biggest parts of my life, and especially of my Christmas season. For those of you who I haven’t really talked to about Christmas Joy, but you see all my posts about it, I’ll explain what it is.
Christmas Joy is a dance show put on by the Performers Ballet and Jazz Company in Albuquerque. And while most people assume it’s something like the Nutcracker, because it’s put on only during the Christmas time, it’s totally different. Christmas Joy tells the story of Christ and his life through dance. We have angels, wiseman, drummer boys, and all the like. It is the most beautiful Christmas production. It puts the emphasis of Christmas right where it should be, on Christ.
I had the opportunity to dance in Christmas Joy for eleven years. And it was the best eleven years ever. I still remember being backstage during my first year and petting the lamb that we used during finale. I remember wanting to be in Drummer Boy more than anything, but knowing I was far too tall to ever be in it. I remember singing Oh Holy Night and thinking that it said “King of Sardines.” I remember going to the Frontier between shows with my family. I remember when we changed theaters and how weird it was at first, but what a blessing it was. I remember White Elephant parties between shows. I remember Secret Sisters. I remember being so excited to be a part of Gloria with all the big girls. I remember the overwhelming feeling of joy and love of my savior I felt when I was on stage. I remember crying as my best friends performed their last shows. I remember it all.
This year was my second year sitting in the audience after being a part of it for so long. And I am not quite sure why, but this year was a lot more emotional for me. Maybe it was because my little sister was in it this year, or maybe it was because I just finished reading and really pondering the Gospels. But this show had such a different feeling than last years did. As soon as the music started, I had tears in my eyes. Heck, backstage when I prayed with the company before show, I had tears in my eyes. I definitely had tears in my eyes during that time because of the overwhelming amount of love and gratitude I had for all of the dancers as well as having the opportunity to be in it for eleven years. I cried so many times during the show. I cried because I was so so proud of my little sister. I truly saw her bloom on stage. I cried because of how much my friends had grown as dancers. I cried because I could see the testimony of some of my best friends radiating in every move and in every dance. I cried because I missed it. I cried because it hit me how much I respect Mary and her role that she played. I cried because of the new dances. I cried, because the lyrics and the moves made so much sense and because of their beauty. And I cried because I am so thankful for such an amazing Lord.
I know I’ve talked about the He Was slides so many times, but they really are the best part of the show. The whole show could just be that slide show, and it would still be worth every penny. I wish I could post the slide show for you all to watch, because it’s so perfect. My video did absolutely no justice to what that slide show does. Christ is the true meaning of Christmas. He was born of a virgin. He performed many miracles. He suffered for us. He was alone. He was pierced, abandoned, and dead. He wasn’t done when He died on the cross though. He was raised, seen, heard, touched, held, loved, praised. HE IS OUR CHRISTMAS JOY.
I love this show and all that it is. It truly is inspired and a missionary work. I am so blessed to have been a part of it for so many years and to have it be a part of my Christmas tradition.
I was able to help backstage this year, and when I had a minute, I went and took pictures backstage, and I just wanted to share some of them. I also included some pictures with Cheese. And the Iglesias’. Talk about life long friends. The Performers has definitely brought me the best of friends that I will have for years to come. 
In the Native section, we have this saying “If you don’t know, now you know.” And we use it mostly in comical situations. But that saying resounds so much when I think of all that I’ve learned this semester. Especially in my New Testament class. I thought I knew about Christ’s ministry on earth. I thought I knew all the miracles. I thought I knew all about His atonement for me. I had no idea.
About a year and a half ago I went to an Easter sermon at a local church in Albuquerque. It was an amazing service, no doubt, but the thing that got me the most was the video that Pastor Dustin showed in the sermon. He showed just about an 8 minute clip from the movie The Passion of the Christ. I thought I knew what Christ’s crucifixion looked like. I had no idea. If you haven’t seen this movie, I definitely recommend it, but be prepared for the mind blowing part of it and to be an emotional wreck. I truly thought that I knew all that Christ had suffered for me. He suffered greatly in the Garden of Gethsemane for me, He was spit upon, He had a crown of thorns placed on His head, and He hung on the cross for hours for me. But, even with all those unpleasant things, it all seemed okay. That might not sound right, but it all just never came into my mind that Christ would be disfigured and covered in blood when He was hung. But seeing this video changed my whole perspective. While some of the images are honestly so disturbing, and Christ is bloody and disfigured, I believe there is truth to this video. Seeing this video brought a while new light to how much Christ truly suffered for me.
Growing up in the church, I always saw such beautiful pictures of Christ’s atonement for me. There was no sign of abuse, or beating, or anything; just a peaceful and strong Christ. And while my God is peaceful and strong, He endured more than anyone ever has that day. It is said in Isaiah 52:14 that Jesus will be marred more than any man. My teacher taught me something amazing with that. In Hebrew, they do not put vowels into the writing, just consonants. The word “marred” in Hebrew with certain vowels in it means “marred,” and with others it means “anointed.” Isn’t that amazing?
Sorry, I just needed to throw that little bit of fact in there because I found it so interesting. But one thing that my teacher asked in the middle of the lecture when we were talking about the cross and the crucifixion of Christ is “Have we overlooked the cross?” Let me tell you, I certainly have. I always knew that Mormons didn’t wear the cross on their necklaces or jewelry or have it on the church for some reason, but I never really understood why. Now I know that we don’t do those things because we look at the symbol of the church of Jesus Christ not as the dead and dying Christ, but of the living Christ.
Despite that, I do think that sometimes the cross and the torture that Christ endured is overlooked. I wish that I had been shown the Passion of the Christ earlier in my life, so I could have had a better idea of what Christ suffered for me.
As I have said a number of times before and I have even stated in my video, Christ lived for us. He set the perfect example for us. He died for us. He was beaten, bruised, spit upon, abandoned, alone, crucified, and killed for us. He not only endured physical torture, but also emotional and mental torture in the Garden. Christ knows all my joys and all my sorrows. He knows exactly how I feel when I’m at my lowest of lows. He loves me. He died for me. And I have no idea why a perfect God would die for me when I am so imperfect. But I know it’s because He loves me. And Christ committed the greatest act of love for me, a sinner, because of his eternal love for me.
I thought I knew Christ and all He did on earth. But I had no idea. And I think I know all that Christ suffered for me, but I still have only an inkling of an idea of what He went through for me. I know what I know, but I don’t think that there is any way in this life that I will ever be able to wrap my small little mind around the immensity of God’s love, grace, and sacrifice for me.
I can’t believe that this semester is almost over. And that my New Testament class is almost over. This has honestly been one of the most enjoyable classes ever. Especially spiritually. This class has opened my eyes to so many insights and put the gospels in such a different light for me.
This past week and this week we talked a lot about the Garden of Gethsemane and the crucifixion. I thought I knew a lot. But I had no idea. Absolutely none. I mean, we all know the basics of the story of Christ’s crucifixion. But do we ever try and relate more than just the suffering on the cross and Gethsemane back to us? I know I didn’t. Not until my teacher pointed out that, once again, this is our story. No, we are not hated by the whole world, or perfect in any way shape or form, or going to be crucified for almost no reason. But we are the other characters. Sometimes we’re the people who mourn Christ. Who comfort Mary. But one character I never would have associated myself with is Barabbas.
Barabbas comes into the story of the crucifixion during Pilate’s final trial. Pilate finds no fault in Jesus and no one’s reason for Christ to be persecuted and put to death lines up. Pilate is trying to find a way out, a way to let Christ go. It is a passover tradition that they would let one prisoner go and forgive them for all of his sins. Barabbas was guilty of murder and it is said that “Barabbas was a robber.” Jesus was guilty of being the Son of God. Barabbas translates to mean son of the father. The Jews chose to have the fake son of the father freed and condemned the real son of the father.
Now, not all of us have committed such sins as murder, but we have committed sins. Some worse than others. But sins nonetheless. We have all the facts against us. We deserve everlasting death. We deserve punishment. Just like Barabbas, we deserve to be outcasts in prison. But just like Barabbas, Jesus takes our place. We are let go and forgiven of all of our sins, and Jesus, the only perfect person who has committed no such sin, takes the terrible punishment that should have been ours. And Jesus doesn’t take our cross with anger or the feeling of unfairness in his heart, but with everlasting love.
I never in a million years would have associated myself with Barabbas. Honestly, for the longest time I felt a little bit of anger towards Barabbas myself for being guilty of all of those terrible crimes and the Jews deciding to punish the only spotless being. But I have had my eyes opened and my heart softened. I am Barabbas. I commit sins all the time. I have big sins and small sins. I am worthy of eternal punishment and death. But I have a God who willingly took my cross. Who willingly took my sins. Who willingly was tortured and endured physical, emotional, and mental pain like no one has ever experienced, just so that I would never have to feel those things. What an amazing God we have. A God that knows all of our sins and knows all that we have done. And yet, He loves us and willingly takes upon the punishment for our sins, so we don’t have to.
The atonement is a real thing. It is more real than we can comprehend. And it did not start and end on the cross or in the Garden of Gethsemane. It continues everyday if we use it. Christ suffered for our sins. He knows more than anyone else our pains and our joys. And He is waiting for you to use the atonement and to remember that you do not have to feel the deepest of sorrows that He felt. How great is our God.
So at the beginning of the year, we were told in my New Testament class that we would have to do a semester long project. I had no idea what I wanted to do, or what I could do that could take a semester to…
Shanoah Lauren 